joehoyle’s Blog

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Let’s talk relationships

Let’s talk relationships and shit. While it’s not really my topic I feel like I have a lot to say about it, for better or for worse. I can’t say I know much, I don’t have much experience on either relationships or dating but I’m not clueless. Unfortunately I’ve only had two relationships but the first doesn’t really count and my second one was really just a book written by an author with anxiety and depression that left me not wanting to deal with guys for while. But that has past and I know what I like, don’t like and what to compromise. I know that dating someone I’ve hardly talked to is making me anxious because while I appreciate the effort the thought of spending time on something/someone that could turn into nothing/no one sucks the fun out of it. I’ve seen a few guys briefly but either they just wanted me to put out when I didn’t want to or I just didn’t vibe with them. I totally get I most likely need to go on dates but they don’t have to be the text book kinds. I’m fine with grabbing an afternoon coffee or an evening drink. It doesn’t have to be more complicated than that. Simple is good, it takes the pressure off. Dining can come later when you know you’re comfortable with each other. I’m not into going to clubs and getting rubbed on by strangers who just want to hump anything with a vagina and tinder never worked for me anyway. People tell me that I’m young and that I should have fun but their idea of fun is not for me. I just wish I could skip the whole sexually frustrating dating scene and go straight to ordering takeaway on Saturdays and sleeping late on Sundays. I want to be able to watch a movie while eating snacks and not being worried to get a perverted look 15 minutes in. Don’t get me wrong, I think sex is important in a relationship, I just don’t want to feel like it’s forced upon me. I’ve already had the taste of that and I didn’t like it. I don’t expect to meet the man I’m gonna spend my future with at this age but it doesn’t mean I don’t want to have quality dates and relationships till that time comes. But if I do meet my soulmate early on it’s not like I’m gonna fight it. What can I say, I’m the relationship kind. I can only focus on one man at the time which makes me a little anxious because from my experience a man can talk to several girls at a time while I’m his plan B. Is it really so that a man with roughly the same ideas as me just doesn’t exist or hasn’t he emerged from the ashes of fuckboys yet? But yeah, I want to meet someone and have fun with him. It doesn’t have to be long lasting, it can be a summer fling. I just want to have a great time with a great dude who enjoys my company as much as I enjoy his for as long as it lasts. Wouldn’t complain if I end up with someone in the near future I want to introduce to my family though. Let’s see where my boat floats next!
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9 Comments»

  anvita wrote @

I can relate to this so much. I’m 20 and people always ask me why I’m single and some even try to set me up with random dudes. Although I was open to that, I just felt like it was being forced; like the previous guys I was in a “relationship” with. It sucks that we’re stuck in this hookup culture but however cliché this sounds, I believe in destiny and all this is happening to us for a reason so we can actually value the right person when they enter our lives! I’m on the same boat as you so please never feel like you’re alone, ok? 🙂

  Janet wrote @

Your answer shows real ineiclegenlt.

  Paula wrote @

Same here. I agree with all, actually.

  Johanna wrote @

What you’ve said is a dream that I’m sure every girl wants. To be honest when you really think about it, when guys get comfortable with you and don’t feel like they have to impress you all the time maybe that’s when they get to the stage of just staying in with comfortable clothes and snacks and just watching films. I think sometimes us girls need to make them feel as comfortable as they try to make us feel. Totally want what you want, you go girl x

  Maud wrote @

I can’t agree more. In my personal life I experienced the same, in high school everyone was like going to the club every single weekend and kiss and fuck random strangers. It always felt like I was the only one who didn’t fit in. For me it is really good to read that more people think like me and I’m not weird for not liking all kind of stuff. I’ve been in a relationship with the same guy for five years now, and he is not like any other guy I ever met. I really believe that there are people that just work together so well for whatever reason. You should really wait until you feel comfortable with someone, because that is in my opinion the most important thing to start a relationship.

Anyway, I really like that you’re getting personal on the blog right now. I’m sure many of your followera would want to know more about you except just the face. Don’t get me wrong, I really like your brows and stuff but I like to read these kind of thoughts of people.

  Jeniveve wrote @

I never thought another girl who related to me and been through what I have. I came to a point where I kind of just gave up and just deserted the idea of a long lasting relationship because all guys want is sex and something quick and easy for them. It’s a sucky culture now. Especially because we’re young and stuck in it, and we don’t know when we will ever get back the romance the world once embraced. Guys are mostly mean and over sexualized. It’s annoying because I’m celibate. Which means k don’t have sex before marriage. It’s a personal choice based on not wanting to spread myself around for nothing. I want a long lasting and true love, romance relationship. There are days I am very lonely and living in the middle of no where sucks! No men except ones who are grumpy old men, and jerks who constantly smoke and drink. I am soooo not into that. I’m so over the bad boys. I keep praying for a good man, my soul mate to come into my life. I guess I can’t rush it. I miss the romantic era. Like poetry and stuff. And just losing yourself into someone deeply but not completely, I miss that, and I need that. I might as well sit back and relax because nothing is happening over night. I’ll just smile and continue to live on. I started to love of my family, and friends far greater than any man,

  Michal wrote @

Me me me, pick ME! I’m comparably funny as you are, I agree with everything you wrote, I’m almost as pretty as you are (not photogenic though 😦 ), I run(!) aaand, I’m sarcastic most of the time. There, my bio. Good night.

  Darthon Newman wrote @

Interesting. With all that’s been read, I’ve grown curious of 1. What predilections do you harbor for being with a man, exactly? From the little experience you’ve gathered, what have you learned you’ve come to love or favor most when it pertains to what a man could potentially offer you, internally | externally?

2. What is your present overall preference concerning “Appearance, Wants and Needs” that’ll sustain you in long-term committed relationship?

  Sofia wrote @

I’ve made my game even harder by being asexual (or demi, how the heck am I supposed to know, I’ve never met the right one). I’ve also been in a relatipnship twice. The first one lasted two years when it should have ended in the first three weeks, and then the second one was just as shitty. I mean, I thought I loved him, but after a few weeks of radio silence I got dumped on Facebook and now that dipshit is trying to be my friend. Like nah son you burnt that bridge ages ago, have fun swimming.
But after that I got introduced to feminism more (and found out that there is nothing wrong with me, just ace af) and learned all new/old things about me and the world. (Ah, this sounds like a shitty book!) I started to become the person I was supposed to be all these years. It’s very hard not to be bitter, but I don’t blame those ex-boyfriends of mine. We were really just a bunch of kids.
There are times when I’m watching a romantic comedy and I wish I was the girl, but there are also times that I wish the couple would just effin kiss already so that movie could go on. So no, atm I do not want a relationship. Maybe someday but I’m only 20, so what do I know.
And the point of this comment was that I feel you. But I don’t want to stress about it too much.


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